When ROYGBIV just won't cut it.

As I was on the phone with our pediatrician last week, my boss walked into my office, only to hear "Well, there have been several of them, which is my concern. They are red- about the color of red velvet cake batter, and no they are not watery but they definitely aren't clumping like they are supposed to...", he erupted into laughter and said, "Omnicef? In our house, we were huge fans of the bubble gum medicine.". At that, he left and walked up to his office and I finished my discussion about poop with the nurse. 

I was thinking about this and I appreciate the fact that I am working with a man that has children and has been down this road before (and that he can laugh about it). What amazed me even more was the fact that I wasn't remotely embarrassed about it. I would like to know why they withhold this pertinent bit of information from you during those parenting/child birth classes you take in preparation for your first child (we took a refresher for the third child and it still wasn't discussed). They talk about mucus and using a the bulb syringe to suck it out (we fondly refer to it as the booger sucker in our house). They tell you how to wipe rear-end, change diapers, clip nails, but at no point does anyone ever say, "This is your warning. At some point in this child's life you will have to put your dignity aside and openly discuss poop with one or more people at your doctor's office. Please familiarize yourself with all of the colors in the big box of Crayola crayons because you will need to throw out one or more of those color names. Better yet, if you have time prior to your child's birth, we highly suggest you take an art class and a culinary (baking) class so you can become more descriptive in consistency and color." I am considering asking the hospitals or pediatrician offices to print off a color wheel to help new parents. 

In the meantime, for those of you who are just beginning down this road of child rearing or for those that lack knowledge of colors beyond ROYGBIV or Crayola's basis eight colors, I am attaching a link to aid you in your quest to find that perfect word/adjective. Please visit http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Crayola_crayon_colors, it seems to be the most comprehensive list that I have found short of going to the paint store. I wish you the best of luck because I know the first few times will be rough, your cheeks will become a little flushed, but you eventually get over it and it becomes as second nature as brushing your teeth. 

For those of you who do not have children, I apologize for subjecting you to this but hope that you find humor in it.

Bed bugs

I love snuggling with my children. It doesn't matter if it is at night before bed time or early in the mornings, when you want those few extra minutes of rest and they are standing beside your bed, with puppy dog eyes, begging to crawl in bed with you. I just love those times- probably because I know my days are numbered before they get too old to even consider it. It is hard to resist the opportunity to watch those sweet little faces when they finally do doze off. 

The one thing that I have noticed is how quickly the bed shrinks when one of them climbs in. Last night, Layne and Blair were soundly snoring away in their beds (every now and then I heard "boo" coming from Blair's room- no idea what she was scaring away) and Kennedy was in bed with Dean and I "winding down" (using us as her personal jungle gym and squealing as loudly as possible). She finally decided to grab her bunny and lay down, whack us a few times with it, and snuggle up. Shortly after this sudden stop in her activity, I looked over and Dean was asleep, Kennedy promptly followed his lead and was out and curled up in a ball. Then the sprawl began. First it was the legs, then the arms, then the torso twisted a little and before I knew what had happened, she had managed to secure her spot in over half of the bed. Two adults and one 7 month old- you would think that the proportions would be dramatically different with the adults taking up the bulk of the space but noooooo..... Dean was on the edge, I was on the edge, and Kennedy was sleeping soundly in the middle. She looked like an overgrown starfish with her arms spread open wide, legs propped up on me, and her head on his chest. Twenty-nine inches of baby, taking up the equivalent of an entire queen size bed. 

From seven months to seven years, it does not matter. If a child is in my bed (with or without Dean), I find myself going from comfortably situated to dangling over the edge, dodging flailing arms and kicking legs, and praying that they do not move another inch of I will surely end up on the floor. They are little and they are so sweet (especially when they are asleep), yet they move in and take over the bed each time- inch by inch.  

Lords and Love

Layne, age 3

Layne is going through a medieval phase (long with Star Wars and pirates). He is hungrily reading anything he can get his hands on regarding knights, lords, castles, moats, etc. As I am reading these volumes of information with him, I am learning a lot myself. Last night, while sitting in my bed reading, we stumbled upon information regarding Lords and Ladies getting married. I told him that Lords and Ladies usually were married by age 14 and they were arranged marriages. This totally blew his mind and it furthered baffled him that often they didn't meet who they were marrying until the wedding day. I could see his little mind working and knew from his the look on his face that he really needed to tell me something. He took my hand and said, "Mommy, I love you. If you want to make me marry someone I understand. I just want you to know that I don't want her to wear glasses. So, pick any girl you think is cute, but just no glasses.". Well.... do I laugh or not? He was so serious when he was telling me this. There was great relief on his face when I told him there were laws in place that would keep him from marrying anyone at age 14. Then there was more.... 

"Mommy, when we go to lunch at school we can't talk the first five minutes. This is because we need those five minutes to eat." (I am amazed that he can eat in five minutes- it takes him a lot longer during dinner.) "Today we were at lunch and B (I will not use her name) signed to me that she loves me. Then someone told her that she couldn't sign to anyone because that was talking even though you aren't saying anything. I tried to sign back "ok" but I forgot how to and just ignored her." I just smiled, nodded, and asked him if anything else happened at school that was interesting. He then informed me that if I am choosing how he marries, then maybe I need to see if her parents would want her to marry him because she loves him, doesn't wear glasses, and likes Legos too but maybe we could wait until they could drive. 

So, as Sir Layne and I continue down this path of discovery, I am going to cherish these moments with my little boy because it is becoming more and more obvious, children today grow up far too quickly. 

Look into my eyes....

"Hey Mommy, look into my eyes and I will tell you your future because I am a sidekick." Yes, you read that correctly, she is a sidekick and not a psychic- I verified the pronunciation twelve times just to make sure I was hearing her correctly. I do not know what spurred this latest craze with Blair, but I find her "talents" very entertaining. She has looked into Kennedy's eyes and predicted a future bottle, Cheerios, or fresh diaper (her nose may have helped her a little on that one). Layne's prediction involved going to school, reading a book, and playing with Legos. She looked into my eyes, commented on how bloodshot they were, asked why I had dark circles under them, and then informed me that I was going to have a cup of coffee and a kiss from her. Well, Blair's accuracy is amazing- every single thing happened for all of us. I am guessing that Madame Blair's "sidekick" skills have nothing to do with her attention to detail and sheer observation of our daily routines. 

Her predictions can only be made if she is wearing the correct attire - everything revolves around her wardrobe. An accurate "sidekick" reading requires numerous bangle bracelets, a tiara, boa, and several applications of flavored lip balm. If any one of these items are missing- her predictions are off by at least five minutes. So if you are in need of the winning lottery numbers don't bother asking Madame Blair- she's still fine tuning things. However, if you are uncertain about your daily routine or simply need to be told that you are sleep deprived and showing it, then she's the "sidekick" to see.

I can't imagine....

Carter Bucciero, age 2 1/2

Sarah,

I can't imagine the strength that it must take to keep fighting to find a cure, to sit beside your child and watch him be so sick and not be able to fix it right away, or to be separated from your husband and son for such long periods of time- facing what you face every single day. As a mother, it breaks my heart to know that you are dealing with all of this. I hope that you find comfort and more strength in knowing that fellow Vixens, young and old, are rallying behind you and sharing your story with others in hopes of recruiting more prayer warriors for Carter. We send you all love and encouragement from all corners of the world. - Your SBC Family

For those of you who may not know, please read about Carter and please pray for this little boy and his family. Prayer is a powerful tool. He is being medically flown back to St. Jude's hospital today after becoming very ill while on a family vacation to Walt Disney World. Carter had just finished his second full treatment of chemotherapy and they learned yesterday that his brain tumor has grown.  Sara is a fellow SBC alum and an amazing woman. Please take a moment to remember her family today (and every day) as they continue to fight the fight of Carter's life.

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/carterbucciero1?ref=nl

7 year old politics

In the spirit of the upcoming election, we have been talking to the children about our political system and the issues that go hand-in-hand with it. This has sparked some serious debate, questioning, and conversation and I am loving every second of it. I dabbled with this when Layne was 4 years old and at that point in time, he was in strong support of John McCain and most of his policies. I was informed by another adult, that there were some serious lunch table discussions going on between pro-Obama and pro-McCain 4 year olds..... which I love to hear but would have loved even more to hear the debating that was going on. 

Layne participates in Kids Vote at school and it has been interesting to hear his thoughts on local candidates. He informed me that no matter how strong your beliefs and platform are, kids are not going to vote for you if you are missing hair and look old and ugly. Sadly, I am sure that there are numerous adults that vote the same way- by appearance only.

Which brings me to Layne's presidential campaign. Layne has been working on his "platform" for some time. He has discussed in great detail the need for everyone to pay taxes if they are living here (legally or not) and fully supports the idea of placing the tax on goods and services instead of using an income tax. He also believes that there needs to be more money given to our military so they are able to get better equipment to use to protect them and also to help them live and get help when they come home or get a "normal boring job". He believes that things need to be manufactured in the good ole' USA to give more people jobs and make things safer. Most recently he even started discussing the need for the "rule makers" to start taking turns and giving new people a chance to vote on rules (term limits). He cited that in school, the children take turns being the leader and doing work, so why can't the adults who run the country. How sad is it that a 7 year old gets it and yet so many adults do not? He was asked to write in school about and this is what came home (in his own words):

"If I were president I would kick Obama out of the state and he could never come back. I would be a jeneral of the army and lead wars. I would be called Sir Layne. I would protect people more. Bie installing cameras with lazers in them. And they would shock thieves or harmful people. I believe in God and I believe in my country and say the pledge. I think that is very important when you are the boss."

He is very passionate about this career goal and maybe one day it will happen- if he can keep his charm and good looks. He has several years to change his mind and perfect things unless he succeeds in getting the minimum age requirement changed to 13 years old (which is what he'd love to have happen).  

Once Upon a Trip....

Blair, age 2

Bedtime is always fun. Layne likes to be read to and Blair likes to have stories told to her. Some nights my "mommy brain" isn't working too well and I just can't muster up a creative enough story to satisfy Blair. She asks that they all be originals and I can't remember what story lines I have already used. If my listener is not satisfied I am told to tell another story. So, the other night I was having one of those moments and I was struggling to think of anything. So I told her a story about going to Paris but I did not follow the normal story format. Here is the what I tried:

Me: Imagine that one day I wake you up and I tell you to pack a small bag. We are stopping by to see Crystal before we leave to have your hair dyed a new color. 

Blair: I only want to have pink and purple streaks instead of all over color.

Me: After we leave there, we head to the airport to get on a plane. Do you have your passport Blair? 

Blair: Yes, I do and I really like my picture in it. Did you remember to pack snacks Mommy? Sometimes the snacks on the plane are not yummy enough. 

Me: I packed you some Skittles, is that ok?

Blair: Yes, that sounds great. Why am I packing a small bag of clothes? I need plenty of things to wear. Where are we going?

Me: You packed a small bag because we are going to shop for new clothes when we get there. We are flying to Paris.

Blair: Wow! That is where Fancy Nancy always wants to go! Do you know how to speak Paris?

Me: French

Blair: Huh?

Me: People in Paris speak French.

Blair: We are in North Carolina so we should be United States and not English. 

Me: No, we speak English because that is the language of our country. 

Blair: That makes no sense..... All we need to do there is say Ohh La La and Merci a lot and everyone will know what we are saying. That is what Fancy Nancy does. I also know pirate too. Shiver me tremble, arrrr, and the flag is called a Jolly Rancher. 

Me: Back to our trip. We fly for a long time and you get to watch a movie (or two). When we get there you get to see the Eiffel Tower (just like Fancy Nancy's picture) and we got shopping. 

Blair: You messed up Mommy. 

Me: How so?

Blair: This is a girls only trip. So we need to make sure that Kennedy is in a suitcase, we need to pick BeBe up on the way to the airport, and she needs to get all of Aupples' money so we can have a lot of fun shopping. I remembered to pack my piggy bank.

Me: Ok, so we do all of that except pack Kennedy in a suitcase because she can sit in a seat on the plane. We get to Paris...

Blair: I am sleepy, so I am going to dream about this now and get all of the details figured out. Good night Mommy. I love you!

It must have been some dream that she had that night because she woke up the next morning determined that we were heading to Paris that day on the way to preschool and she had it all figured out. She even told our sitter that we would be gone for a while because of this trip and told her about all of the plans that were made the evening before. To say she was disappointed when I told her we weren't going is a major understatement. Eventually the trip suffered a major downgrade and turned into a trip to New York to knit (the plans she shared with my mom). Regardless, she still pours over her Fancy Nancy books, looking for "Paris words" so she will be fluent when she does make this long journey. I am sticking to the "Once upon a time" format from here on out since the "Imagine one day" seemed to evolve into a planned mission. 

Au revoir