As I was on the phone with our pediatrician last week, my boss walked into my office, only to hear "Well, there have been several of them, which is my concern. They are red- about the color of red velvet cake batter, and no they are not watery but they definitely aren't clumping like they are supposed to...", he erupted into laughter and said, "Omnicef? In our house, we were huge fans of the bubble gum medicine.". At that, he left and walked up to his office and I finished my discussion about poop with the nurse.
I was thinking about this and I appreciate the fact that I am working with a man that has children and has been down this road before (and that he can laugh about it). What amazed me even more was the fact that I wasn't remotely embarrassed about it. I would like to know why they withhold this pertinent bit of information from you during those parenting/child birth classes you take in preparation for your first child (we took a refresher for the third child and it still wasn't discussed). They talk about mucus and using a the bulb syringe to suck it out (we fondly refer to it as the booger sucker in our house). They tell you how to wipe rear-end, change diapers, clip nails, but at no point does anyone ever say, "This is your warning. At some point in this child's life you will have to put your dignity aside and openly discuss poop with one or more people at your doctor's office. Please familiarize yourself with all of the colors in the big box of Crayola crayons because you will need to throw out one or more of those color names. Better yet, if you have time prior to your child's birth, we highly suggest you take an art class and a culinary (baking) class so you can become more descriptive in consistency and color." I am considering asking the hospitals or pediatrician offices to print off a color wheel to help new parents.
In the meantime, for those of you who are just beginning down this road of child rearing or for those that lack knowledge of colors beyond ROYGBIV or Crayola's basis eight colors, I am attaching a link to aid you in your quest to find that perfect word/adjective. Please visit http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Crayola_crayon_colors, it seems to be the most comprehensive list that I have found short of going to the paint store. I wish you the best of luck because I know the first few times will be rough, your cheeks will become a little flushed, but you eventually get over it and it becomes as second nature as brushing your teeth.
For those of you who do not have children, I apologize for subjecting you to this but hope that you find humor in it.
No comments:
Post a Comment